How are you defining success these days?

The calendar has just turned to December. The days are getting so very short and the first hints of snow are still just threatening. It has been an unusually warm fall season, but the transition to winter won’t be delayed forever.

When we are in the middle of summer, it can be hard to believe that winter will eventually come. And yet, it does. Without fail. Every year. Not always on the exact same date, and not always at the exact same speed. But we learn about the order of the seasons in school, and we come to know, trust, and depend on this cycle.

We learn that progression in a career also has a ‘natural’ order, but one that is more linear. Heck, we even refer to it as a ladder! Get a job, work hard, take on extra responsibility, get a promotion, celebrate a pay increase. Step by step along the corporate ladder, until you reach the top! That’s “success”!

What happens if we step off the ladder? 

If it snows in the middle of summer we refer to it as a ‘freak storm’ or an ‘unnatural event’. Thankfully a major career shift isn’t branded as a “freak career choice”. 

But stepping off the corporate ladder can seem just as unnatural to those who remain behind. In my case, it prompted a lot of questions like, “Are you okay?”, “Are you sure this is a good idea?”, “Is there anything we can offer to get you to stay?”, and “What are you going to do instead?”.

And, of course, when we make a big change those questions may rise in our own heads and hearts, too, since we’ve absorbed all those ideas that have shaped our own mental model about what “success” looks like.

Three years ago, I walked away from a role and a company that I had once loved. The change seemed sudden and unexpected to many, and in some ways surprised myself as well. Since then, I’ve done a number of different things - taken graduate school courses, walked for many hours in the woods, got creative with my kids, renovated my kitchen, explored embodiment practices, and worked for small businesses as a leadership and learning consultant. (You can read more about what I learned in my last post, 7 Lessons from Mid-Life Career Transitions.)

If I were to evaluate my mid-life career transition based on the mental model of a ladder, I would be getting a failing grade.

But what if we step back and evaluate the mental model we are using to evaluate ourselves and what success means to us?

Success is attaining an object according to our desire.

The Oxford English Dictionary (OED Online) defines Success as “the prosperous achievement of something attempted; the attainment of an object according to one’s desire.”  Success. Is. Attaining. An. Object. According. To. Our. Desire.

In my case, my desires included:

✨ learn and grow,

✨ build community around things I was passionate about, and

✨ get clarity about the work I wanted to do next in the world.

I wanted change. I needed new challenges. I wanted to explore my relationship with work and experience different work cultures. 

By that measure, I am wildly successful!

My definition of success is living and working in a way that is aligned with my values and feels like a full-body-yes.

I’m choosing to reject a linear and status-oriented framework for what success looks like. 

This is just one example of the many systems (Hi, Capitalism!) that influence our mindset, which then impacts our thoughts and behavior.

I love working with clients to help them identify mental models, metrics, and frameworks that might be causing more harm than good - and support them in finding new ways to see their reality. 

When we see the systems we’re operating within, we can see our choices more clearly.

I’d love to hear from you - what metrics are you using to measure your success? How are they working for you? 

Send me a note at amy at hummingbirdconsulting.com and let me know!